Hello Bloggers

Do you ever feel like your losing control over everything? That no matter how hard you try and pray and get close to God that nothing you do is making a difference? Yeah I really hate that place and I feel like hurtling myself off a cliff. So much pressure and so much going wrong. And when the person that you love the most and care about most in the world, your best friend can't stand you any more and doesn't want anything to do with you...what are you left with? Thats right! The feeling that everything you do is WRONG! Just in case you are wondering, no this is not God having me hit rock bottom because he wants me to learn how to trust him completely. And no Kenny and I aren't broken up. Why does life have to be so dramatic? I am so glad to be out of high school and not have that stupid drama stuff, but when you are out of high school a different type of drama sets in. The struggle to be something other than yourself in this world almost seems like a must. "You must go to college and graduate and become something if you want to be worth anything in this world." Do you know how many times I have heard that? And I despise the phrase "what are you going to do with the rest of your life?" And when I respond with "whatever God has planned for me" I get the look. The look like that is not a good enough answer, like I am not planning for every thing that might come so I am going to be a failure. Everyone says "you know marriage is for people who are older...in there later twenties you have plenty of time"...well why doesn't that work with finding a career too? I am 19 years old and I am supposed to already know what I want to do with the rest of my life. IT'S REDICULOUS! As you can probably tell I am just a little bit frusterated by this. The thing that makes me the most angry is that most of this is coming from my family and people that I am close too. I realize they love me and want to help and is fine, but when they are trying to control my own personal descisions, that's when I get pissed off. ARG! Yes is did borrow that from Charlie Brown. Anyway I complained enough for one blog. TTFN.

-Kimber, signing off-